SimplyDeliciousLiving.tv’s Maryann Ridini Spencer interviews Barbara A. Berg, author of “Ring Shui”
Maryann: Barbara, in your book RING SHUI you talk about the importance of rings on one’s fingers. This month is Valentine’s Day. How can single people bring romance into their lives?
Barbara: Rings play an amazing part in shifting our energy and amplifying our dreams and desires. They also play a very important part in the “wooing” and “courting phases” of developing relationships. They actually send off many signals as to whether to come closer or not.
While more men are beginning to wear more rings on more fingers, they still don’t wear them to the degree that women do, and their inner energy is still quite different from female energy when it comes to how they connect in relationships. Because of that, I have some similar and some different input on what single men can do to bring romance into their lives, and what women can do.
Single people of all ages:
1. A good start is to make a point of wearing no rings on your thumbs or middle fingers when you are going to look for love. Middle finger energy can come across as you need to overly protect your heart from hurt and even seeming like you are “commitment phobic”. They also can express some inner anger about being hurt before Thumb rings set you up to connect in a way that can be either overly giving and unable to receive and/or being controlling and power hungry. These aspects are not good beginnings for love. (This is true for both men and women.)
2. Wearing a ring you like that does not have a major connection to your family of origin or a past love on your right ring finger is a beautiful expression of authentic self-love that can subconsciously inspire someone to be drawn to you and want to “down the road”, put a ring on your left ring finger as a betrothed love. Make a point of the ring not looking like a wedding ring of some sort so it doesn’t invite someone to think you are already connected to a love relationship of some intimate sort. This is especially a good idea for women. Men can wear a ring there also, but it is not as important for a man to do as for a woman, especially if he is truly sincere about finding someone to truly bond with and love.
3. Especially for women, if you have been wearing a ring on your right ring finger, and you are growing impatient about meeting someone, wear a ring on your right index finger also and make a point of actively getting out and going to new and unusual places that are safe and interesting to meet people. If a man wants to be creative in putting out “love seeking energy”, try wearing a ring on your right ring finger or right index finger. This just might “stir up the pot” and bring some new and interesting love energy in. – I advise men to try this for very short periods of time such as couple of days at a time, especially on the index finger and see what happens. Women can generally wear rings on their index fingers for longer periods of time and feel ok about it, as more women do this than men. However, more and more men are wearing rings on especially their right ring fingers. See what feels comfortable to you.
Maryann: How can those in a relationship and/or married continue to create romance?
Barbara: If you are married, wear your wedding ring and engagement ring. If you haven’t been wearing your wedding rings or engagement rings, put them on. You don’t have to explain; just slip it on and give your beloved a card saying you love them and see what happens. – Don’t feel you have to wait for Valentine’s Day. If you are a woman and are wearing your wedding ring and engagement ring, also wear a ring you got from your beloved on your right ring finger. This supports your love. If you don’t have one from him, get yourself a fun ring you like and place it there. See what happens.
Whether you are married or not, place a creative and possibly glamorous ring on your right or left index finger, and see what happens. If you feel you need some help in dealing with your relationship, the right index finger can be your best friend. This is especially a good idea for women. A creative man could try wearing a ring on his right index finger and come up with a creative way to express his love for his intimate person that is new for both of them. See what happens.
Maryann: What are the suggested stones or types of rings to create romance?
Barbara: Silver is known for love and gold is known for power. Sometimes wearing a mixture of both can bring in some nice energy from others. Choose the color of metal that looks and feels best on you. Also, for women, wear the color of metal that you would most want to get from a beloved down the road.
For women, a pink color on the stone or gem helps bring on healing and love. Rose quartz is a good idea. So is blue Topaz. Onyx is a good, solid stone for a man to wear on his right ring finger. That can help attract women to him. (I do not advise men to wear pinkie rings when they are looking for love. That does not come across as being sincere.)
Maryann: Why is wearing rings on the middle finger a No-No?
Barbara: They are especially unhelpful when actively looking for love, as they can invite conflict, anger, and/or gaminess from others- and they can bring out the “worst” in you.
Maryann: When rings are on for specific reasons, should a person also express affirmations? Explain.
Barbara: Yes. When you place a ring on your finger, look into the mirror and say out loud to yourself what you want this ring to represent to you- and say it over when you look at your ring and think about love. For instance, when your place a ring on your right ring finger and you are looking for love, say to yourself, “I am drawing to myself the kind of love that reminds me of how much I truly love myself and deserve to be loved. I am ready to receive and give the best love I ever have had in this life time.” That’s a good line for a woman to say. A good line for a man to say is, “I am drawing to me a person I want to shower my love upon that reflects the love I have for myself. I will also receive love from that person simultaneously as I choose them to love and they will hopefully choose me. (Due to the differences in testosterone and estrogen, it is still a good idea to let the man make the first more and as a woman, smile and stand perfectly still. When woman do most of the “wooing work” in the beginning, they become the man in the relationship. I learned from some pretty bright women that the princess tends to try too hard but the Queen stands still. He’ll enjoy coming to you, especially when you reward him with lovely appreciation.)
Maryann: Do Ring Shui principles apply the same way for men as they do for women?
Barbara: They apply similarly. However, due to the built-in hormonal incentive to take action when a man is so inspired, he is less inclined to need his energy amplified by a ring to pursue a woman and connect with her if she is interested. Women tend to wear more rings anyway, and rings can actually boost their self- esteem more as adornment tends to mean more to women than men. However if you are a man who likes rings, by all means wear them. Just don’t get too picky. (In my findings, interestingly enough, I have found that single men who wear no rings are less picky about small things than men who wear them. They also tend to be more straightforward and “what you see if what you get”. However, men who wear rings do tend to love themselves- and that can set them up to want to give a lot to a woman when they are inspired. They just might be choosier in whom they desire. But then again, they are very lucky to have any one of us women!)
For more information, visit: RingShui.comGoogle+